It was a momentary blackout for me, but it seemed like one that lasted beyond just a moment. It was at this point I realized I was in big trouble. I was pulled up by a teammate and the game continued, but not in my favour as the wonderful referee somehow believed no contact was made and I dropped down on my own account. Can you believe this uncle that surely has no future career both as a referee or any sport-related profession?
I jumped back up as fast as I could, but my knee felt different, but who was I to look weak in front of all the girls? The game proceeded and so was my going down as I kept getting knocked down by the goal at every opportunity. These evil defenders from the senior class were having a field day getting me knocked down and the referee kept a blind eye to all the atrocities, or could it be that I was dropping so frequently because I was exhausted and out of energy from coming to the field on an empty stomach? Well, we really will never know the truth but I do stand on the ground that it was a bit of both.
As providence will have it, and after getting knocked down (yes I insist on being knocked down), the referee was signalled to blow the whistle for a pause while I was substituted as my class teacher feared I might get knocked down and not be able to get back up. I was quickly taken to the side and administered a good scoop of powdered glucose D. For those not sure what this is, back in the day, this was a ready source of energy boost as it was said to be refined glucose that gives an immediate energy boost as the body does not need to digest it like every other edible. However, this English had nothing on us back then as everyone craved an opportunity to get a fair scoop of glucose D, not for the energy as it should be, but for the taste and the way it melts freely in your mouth.
My class teacher quickly went into detective mode as she fired various questions at me, faster than I could process an answer. Are you fine? Are you sick? Have you eaten this morning? Are you supposed to be playing football? And many more questions I cared less about as I focused on savouring the glucose D in my hand as slowly as I can. Well, as you can guess right, we lost the match. Well, that shouldn’t be a surprise to you as the star boy of the team was somewhere away from the field with a scoop of glucose D in his hand. Well, this is the story I choose to believe and one you don’t have an option not believing because this is the only reason I am taking to my grave.
We all left the field for our classrooms and the rest of that day was pretty much boring and filled with the usual hustle not to get caught by an unhappy Uncle. I wasn’t so lucky on this day as I got punished for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I had stepped out of my class to another class to see a friend while there was no teacher in their class. And the noise from the class drew the attention of a teacher going by and he punished everyone in the class including my unlucky self. We were asked to stand up, with our hands raised and our eyes closed. This on the surface might seem like nothing, but the effect is in the duration. In this case, the duration depended on how soon the teacher whose period was on, comes in and if the said teacher would choose the path of mercy and not punish us even further for almost getting her in trouble for being late for her class.
I spent the rest of the school hours ensuring I stayed out of trouble as much as I can and when the last bell for the day rang, it was freedom at last and I just wanted to disappear from school and appear at home. This however wasn’t totally up to me. One of the perks of attending a community school or a school with a neighbour is that you automatically get a designated return crew back home or risk getting the other person in trouble for coming back late and also the numerous questions you have to answer when the other parents see you back from school and their child isn’t.
With this in mind, I rushed off to find my designated return crew, which in essence comprised myself and my then best friend and in extension, a silly girl he liked at that time. At that time, I really did wonder how my best friend was tied up to a very silly and largely unintelligent girl so much that I had to bear with it in the name of friendship. Asides from the fact that because of whatever lovey-dovey going on with them, my best friend would always have to carry her school bag after school and walk her almost home, before heading home, and by extension, I was dragged into this new route, only that I have to give them a few steps head start as I was very uninterested in any giggling that emanated from them in the course of the journey. I had come to see this as the price of friendship and I had chosen to endure it as much as I can.
This day, was no different even though I was in a bad head space because of all the events of the day. so amidst hissing and scorn, I walked behind them as my best friend carried both his bag and her bag, one on his back and the other strapped to his chest in front, and his left hand held onto her food basket while he held on to her hand with his right hand. I really couldn’t believe why a guy had to put himself in so much discomfort for a girl as it never made much sense to me. Maybe this notion contributed to my very long single stance many years after.
Just in case one of you is saying to himself, ‘He is jealous’, let me bring in some clarity. Back in my primary school, we had a notebook and a textbook for each subject, and had in all, somewhere around thirteen to fifteen subjects. For the senior classes, this then is topped up with a big Oxford learner dictionary, one ridiculously heavy dictionary that someone somewhere designed to be mobile, or maybe our English aunty lost the idea of having it somewhere rather than mobile, in transit. This is what makes up our very big bag and this wonderful friend of mine had two of these on him all because of crush abi love? Dey play
I held my disgust for the whole situation as I waited for us to get to the junction from which we split off and let her on her way home while we went our way. We got to the said junction, but the duo walked past it like we didn’t just get to our split point. I looked at the from behind and wondered what in the world could keep them so engrossed to not want to end the conversation so I could be on my way home. I was too hungry for this kind of nonsense love, but I chose to give them the benefit of doubt and assumed he was going to break it off at the next junction. To my amazement they passed the next junction and two other junctions after that, leaving us farther away from home by every missed junction. I couldn’t keep it in anymore, so I voiced out and asked my friend why we were not heading home at this point. I was still expecting a response from him when the girl replied ‘He is carrying my bag to my house’. At that moment, I felt both betrayed and disgusted. I looked at my friend and he saw the look on my face and all that came out of his lips was ‘She is not feeling fine’.
I looked at him and then took a look at the person who isn’t feeling fine and back to him and all that I could think of is ‘No be juju be this’. Seeing the disgust on my face, the silly girl went on to say ‘If you want to go, go. Nobody asked you to follow us.’ That was my cue and I wasn’t going to miss it. I stopped, turned around and headed home without saying anything else and if I were to be asked where my friend was on getting home, I had only one answer to give; He followed a girl to her house.
Lucky for him, I got home without his folks seeing me getting inside. Whatever lie he gave for coming home later than usual was none of my concern. I have had enough for one day, not to mention the fact that the feared inter-class debate I so dreaded was a few days away and I was largely unprepared for it. The only thing I was sure of was my opening and I was going to say it with all the pride and confidence in me, after all, that just might be the only thing I have to say.
GOOD MORNING MR. CHAIRMAN, PANEL OF JUDGES……
