A man who calls his kinsmen to a feast does not do so to save them from starving. They all have food in their own homes. When we gather together in the moonlit village ground, it is not because of the moon. Every man can see it in his own compound. We come together because it is good for kinsmen to do so.

Chinua Achebe

Some of us were lucky to grow up in a traditional African family setting where the houses of relatives: grandpa, grandma, uncles, and aunties, were just a stone’s throw. We knew our older cousins and got the chance to play with our younger nieces and nephews. We enjoyed that rich communal upbringing where the extended family was strongly knitted.

During festive seasons or occasions like weddings or funerals, which usually last for days, our homes become crowded with family members from far and wide. A special attire, “Asoebi” is always picked for every occasion and everyone is expected to attend dressed in it; failure to do so might mean you’ll forfeit some rare family privileges like special seats, food and drinks reserved for family members only. 

However, the narrative is fast changing for our children. The hunt for greener pastures in distant cities, employment opportunities that involve frequent travels or outright relocation, and other reasons have created distance between families. For some, the distance was deliberate to avoid either a witch stepmother or a fetish uncle who is believed to be responsible for all the misfortunes and woes in the family. A few others became too civilized and preferred the nuclear family system, with limited or no interaction with extended family members.

Today we have children who have aunties and uncles they don’t know. They have cousins, nieces, and nephews they have never met. This is a simple reminder that we were all born into a family. We have a surname that identifies which family we come from. Our children deserve to know their roots and who their family members are. Let’s not forget one day our candles will burn out. “Meet my uncle, Mr. Omopariola” is a better introduction than, “Meet Mr. Omopariola, he is your uncle in Ibadan. He’s the one they born after your father”.